I can't take this pain anymore

I want to die.I cry myself to sleep every night now! I bet if I die no one will care or remember I was alive.

I am crying right now! I have to hide my tears from my parents because I am not allowed to cry. DO THEY NOW HOW MANY TEARS I AM HOLDING INSIDE ME FOR FUCKING GOD!!!!! I CAN'T HOLD THE TEARS ANY LONGER!!!!!WHY DO I HAVE SUCH PAINFUL LIFE

MY FUCKING EYES ARE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HEART IS SO WEAK!!!!!!!!!!! AND MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE HATES ME!!!!!!! AND PLEASE DON'T COMMENT AND NOTE ME INSTEAD!!!!!! I REPEAT NOTE NO COMMENT I REALLY NEED SOME HELP!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING EMO!!!!!!!!!!! THE MY CLASS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY AND WANT TO MAKE ME EMO/ANGRY PERSON/DEPRESSED PERSON AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!! If you really don't want me to die tell me what would happen to you after I died. I want to know that I am not alone but everyday I feel more and more alone. I was just a mistake to life. And if you ask why I send smile faces instead of a sad face it is because I wanted to get my mind off of my pain but it seem that that did not help at all.
I am repeating this song call Missing by Amy lee here
[link] Listen to it if you want I don't give a fuck if you hear it or not. You can make funny of me for all I care but I will fight back because it is a force of habit.